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Anthro, the first Cro-Magnon boy in the DC Universe, is one of those obscure characters from the 1960s that aging fanboys remember.  He only appeared in seven comics on his own: Showcase #74 and Anthro #1-6.  His creator, Howie Post, isn't that well known today.  So why do aging fanboys love Anthro?

It's all because of this single issue, Anthro #6 (published in 1969), which introduced a generation of geeks to the pleasures of a catfight.

This cover has everything a man or a boy (in my case back in 1969) craves to see.  Two women fighting over him.  One is a blond, the other is a brunette, the classic Betty vs Veronica dynamic exploding into physical violence.  Hair-pulling, legs tangling...even in my pre-pubescent state, something stirred in my loins.  Anthro's smirk as he watches these women fight to mate with him is just the cherry on top of the cake. 

The plot is pretty simple: through a comedy of errors, Anthro is somehow pledged to marry two pre-historic women, Embra and Nima.  There is an Archie-like quality here, as Embra is depicted as blonde-wholesome, while Nima is brunette-wicked.  The elders who interpret the law declare "...the females in challenge must fight with their bare hands till one fails to rise!  She, who stands, shall be the bride of Anthro!"

It's a nasty catfight.  As you can see, the evil-brunette Nima fights really dirty.  Wally Wood inked this issue, and you can see influence on the pencils.  I wonder if Wood also influenced the storyline?  He's the man who gave us Power Girl, after all!

The fight comes down to a draw when both women fall off a cliff and lose consciousness.  Fortunately, when the Elders were drafting the laws of Cro-Magnon society, they spent time thinking about female catfights and their possible outcomes.  The law states that in the case of a draw, Anthro must marry both bitches!  Oh yes! 

My imagine ran overtime about what we would see in Anthro #7.  Would the splash page feature Anthro waking up in his cave, with both Embra and Nima under bear-skin blankets?  Sadly, it was not meant to be...Anthro #6 was the last issue.  Anthro's Wikipedia entry states that "Embra lives to bear his child" but I don't know where that happened in DC history.

This scene probably was inspired by the classic B-movie One Million Years B.C. that came out a few years earlier in 1966.  You've probably seen the classic poster which featured Raquel Welch in a loincloth.  There was a scene where she fought another cavegirl played by Martine Beswick (who had another classic catfight in From Russia With Love). 

Women are no doubt disgusted by this, but here it is, our dirty little secret revealed, why DC Comics fanboys love Anthro.  Nuff said.

Update: Although I didn't know his name at the time I wrote my article, reader Corando Gallegos told me it was Judge Margarito Garza. Read the comment following my article, it's very touching.

My parents moved our family to Corpus Christi, Texas, where we lived during 1974-1976. The first thing I did after we moved in was to figure out where the heck I could buy comics! Back when I was a kid, we didn't have comic book specialty stores. We had to hunt our comic books down in grocery stores, drugstores, and 7-Elevens. I found a strip mall containin' all three at the intersection of Weber Road and S. Staples St. I remember goin' to the supermarket one day and findin' Howard the Duck #1 in the magazine section. My heart skipped a beat; I felt like Kraven the Hunter stalkin' his prey. The only problem was that it was on the lowest rack and I had to reach between the legs of an older lady in order to grab it! I felt a lot like Howard, trapped in a world I never made.

Back then I felt pretty queer about readin' comics at the age of 13. I use that word on purpose, because my Daddy thought I was queer for readin' comics for so long. I really had no other friends who read comics at all. Partly it was due to my family movin' to a different place every few years. I was isolated, especially in Corpus Christi, where city kids got bussed into Hamlin Middle School. There were drugs, gang fights (blacks vs latinos vs rednecks), and worst of all, a Texas-sized fever around the school's football team. We were forced to go to each and every pep rally. Now I'm a redneck myself, but for some reason I always hated football, and I resented goin' to these here rallies. I never went to any game and I never cared if my team won or not! The cheerleaders were the best part, especially this one blonde gal, Betsy. I liked the gyrations of her hips and thighs so much that I named my truck after her! I had daydreams about kickin' the hell out of those football players to impress her, just like ol' Shang-Chi in Deadly Hands of Kung-Fu.

One day I read in the paper about a special store in Corpus Christi that only sold comic books! I begged my Mama to drive me over there. I don't recall the exact location, but it was in an older suburban area, probably a house that was converted into a store. Inside were dozens of boxes of back-issue comic books. We met the owner, a Mexican-American man who was also a Judge in Corpus Christi. This was a historic occasion! For the first time, I met an adult who was also a comic book collector! Not only that, he was a well respected person in the community. My enthusiasm burst out of my mouth, yappin' a dozen different questions at once. I remember we talked about the Wonder Woman TV movie starring Lynda Carter. The Judge talked to my Mama about how comic books were a great influence for kids and kept them out of trouble. His store seemed like paradise. The Judge had posters on the walls, including some reproductions of famous comic book covers he had drawn himself. The one he did for SHIELD #1 looked so interestin' that I got into Steranko's work.

I went crazy lookin' at everything in his store. There were so many back issues of Avengers, Hulk, Captain America, that I wanted to rob a bank and take 'em all home. I got loaded up on all the missing pieces of the Kree Skrull War. I looked over at a table and saw somethin' completely new, a little stapled newsletter called The Comic Reader. I asked the Judge what that was, and he said it was a fanzine about comics. I had heard about 'em, but never saw one of the critters before! You see, back then we didn't have the Internet or Wizard or Previews. When someone like Gerry Conway or Steve Englehart left a book, we'd find out after buyin' the comic and seein' a different name on the title page. The Comic Reader had information about upcoming comic books, including which creators were leaving or joining various titles and interviews as well. Nothin' like Newsarama, but it did have a nice drawing on the cover, usually by a professional artist.

I forget how many times I visited the Judge's store, but each time I visited, I was probably the happiest that I had ever been in my life. I really didn't like livin' in Corpus Christi, even though we had a great house, my whole family was miserable. The Judge and comic books helped me to survive. I sure would love to know his real name and more about him. Corando Gallegos wrote a comment on my Wonder Woman article, but didn't leave an email address. If anyone can give me some info, I'd be mighty obliged. Nuff said.

Update 2: Judge Margarito Garza decided that Mexican American youth needed a superhero of their own and created a Chicano superhero called Relampago in 1977, which you see on the Independent Heroes website.

When I was a young buck, growin' up in Corpus Christi, Texas (circa 1974), there was a TV show called Maude. I watched this show every week. There were topics on women's rights (abortion, right to work), race, politics--all of which made me a very liberated cowboy! But that ain't the real reason--I watched Maude to see Adrienne Barbeau. I was goin' through puberty after all! Whenever she turned up in one of her tight sweaters, I got that funny feelin' in my blue jeans. After one memorable show, in which Ms. Barbeau wore a particulary sheer top and leaned over toward the camera, I made a remark to a classmate in my junior high school (I think it was Paul R Hass Middle School). He said, "Yeah, Adrienne Barbeau!" with a wild look in his eyes, the kind that my dogs gets whenever he senses a member of the opposite sex.

Adrienne Barbeau recently published her memoirs, titled There Are Worse Things I Could Do. It's a fascinatin', quick read, especially if you liked her movies: The Fog, Escape From New York, Cannonball Run, and Swamp Thing. Barbeau was trained as a musical singer who appeared in Fiddler on the Roof and Grease on Broadway; before that she had an off-Broadway musical where she was completely nude for the entire performance! I would have loved to have seen that--I suspect that various nudie pictures I've seen must come from that event. There's a lot of behind the scenes stuff I've always wondered about--like how she met and married the director, John Carpenter. And how they got divorced! The making of Carpenter's movies is discussed, as well as the infamous train wreck, Swamp Thing! There's a lot of scandalous tidbits of Barbeau's love life, like how she lost her virginity to a man who pretended to be Philip Roth, and how Burt Reynolds two-timed her with Dinah Shore. Barbeau's had a wild ride, gettin' married and havin' twins in her 50s. If you're a fan, you'll need to check out this book. Nuff said.

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Comic Book Resources first tipped me off to the real-life Power Girl model (click to expand the photo) at last weekend's Wizard World Chicago 2006. Now, I feel it's my job to bring you boys the finest in PG coverage, especially since the words "Power Girl Breasts" bring the biggest hits to our web site. I did some ol' fashioned Mike Wallace-style investigative reportin' and found the model's name is actually Liana from the Ed the Sock TV show. This is a Canadian show that got picked up by G4 for a while. Liana has a blog on Ed's official site where she mentions her trip to WW, and there's also a gallery with a bullzillion pics of her dressed up as Power Chick. Check 'em out, little doggies! Nuff said.

External Link:
Liana's Gallery

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Jessica Biel will go down in babe-volution as one of the fittest sugar-babes in Hollywood. I read that an executive paid $30,000 smackeroos to date Jessica for a charity event. Can't say much for her acting ability, as she appears to be the same in the same league as Brittany Daniel. But we like Ms. Biel for the same reasons that we appreciate Ms. Daniel--because of her awesome, fit, and 100% natural body! Joel Silver has even considered Jessica a candidate for the Wonder Woman role, although now it appears that Joss Whedon will cast an unknown actress. Warlock thinks that Ms. Biel peaked in 2005, when she was named the Sexiest Woman in Esquire's November issue. But I've got the feeling that Ms. Biel's best days are ahead of her, given all the furious internet activity on her recent public appearances...

In the beginning, Jessica Biel was shy about showing off her beautiful body. Her good-Christian girl image on the WB's 7th Heaven no doubt had a lot to do with it. When she appeared on the cover of Gear magazine, producer Aaron Spelling, as well as her TV dad (), were upset with Jessica. She publicly admitted her mistake, but just a couple years later we found her on the cover of Ocean Drive magazine, looking more babelicious than ever. No doubt about it, this transformation from good girl to devilish woman was something to behold.

What followed after 7th Heaven were a series of films that showed off Jessica's ultra-fit body: Summer Catch, Rules of Attraction, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Blade III, and Stealth. Here are some pics of Jessica working out, doing lunges to attain those buns of steel.

Just to show that Jessica Biel can really cut loose and party, here's a great clip from the Ellen DeGeneres Show during the Blade 3 promo tour. Jessica shakes her booty for over a minute to beat a previous dance record. Jessica's really wild and crazy and I predict this video will make you hotter than Georgia asphault. I sure do think that Ms. DeGeneres really must have loved it.

This dedication to clean living and physical fitness paid off when Jessica made the cover of Esquire as the "Sexiest Woman Alive". Hot Dang, I thought everyone who worked at Esquire was gay! Jessica looked hot on the cover, but even hotter in person when she attended the Esquire party.

Now here's proof positive why Jessica's still the sexiest gal, pardners: these beach shots were taken in July 2006. Some smart and lucky feller spied Ms. Biel in her bikini throwing around a football in the sand. (There are tons more pics of this awesome Red Beach Bikini in the link below.)

You will notice that a lot of the links below come from Superior Pics. Lots of candid photos of Jessica and other gals can be found there. Whether these fellers are stalkers or paparazzi or People-magazine discards, we all benefit in the same way! She looks purty good doin' normal stuff. If I saw her drivin' around LA in my rig Betsy, I think I'd lose control! Nuff said.

External Links (all to Superior Pics):
Jessica Biel's Awesome Red Beach Bikini Pics
Jessica Biel Gear Magazine Scans
Jessica Biel Walking Dog
Jessica Biel Esquire Magazine Scans
Jessica Biel Glute Workout
Jessica Biel Walking Around Town

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Here's to the gal who will always be a Wonder Woman in our hearts: Lynda Carter! She was born on July 24th in 1951, which makes her a young lookin' 55 year old. Ms. Carter's still a hot mama, judgin' from her recent roles in Sky High and the Dukes of Hazzard movie! I'll never forget that day in 1975 when I saw the broadcast premiere of Wonder Woman on ABC. Oh What A Night, True Believers! I met a judge in Corpus Christi (that's in Texas for you city slickers) at that same time who owned a comic book store--before the direct market--and he remarked to my Mamma that he couldn't believe that those WW2 era folks didn't faint when Ms. Carter walked down the street in her brazen little outfit. These five pics below show her evolution from 70s babe (in Bobbi Jo and the Outlaw) to Wonder Woman, and then from Wonder Gal to Cowgirl, and finally as a hot mama from a People magazine pick. Look at how that little feller can't wait to open up that chest of goodness! Nerds young and old salute ya, Ms. Carter, no matter which actress becomes the new Wonder Gal! Nuff said.

External Links:
Lynda Carter at Amazing Amazon
Lynda Carter Online

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I just know you boys all love Erica Durance--the finest Lois Lane of all time--as much as I do. I found this little clip of Erica shooting a SciFi Babes calendar for 2007. The photographer is her brother-in-law, Christopher Judge, who also stars in Stargate SG-1. Warning: the link below is RapidShare; click the Free button at the bottom of the first page. On second page, wait 30 seconds, then enter the code and the download will begin.

External Video Link (42 mb):
Erica Durance Behind the Scenes Women of SciFi Calendar 2007 Photo Shoot

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The good ol' boys and I have been threating to deliver unto you titanic true believers a gallery of Gil Kane's finest Marvel Comics covers! Well, after spendin' an afternoon drinkin' Miller beer and hauling out the ol' long boxes, we've finally done it! Anyone who grew up during the days of bellbottoms and hippies can recall going to the newsstands and seeing those great covers by Mr. Kane. He did hundreds if not thousands of covers. We've selected the cream from the crop: Warlcok, Beast, Iron Man, Conan, Iron Fist, the ever-lovin' Two-Gun Kid and many more are awaitin' your viewin' pleasure. Pop open a cold one and check 'em out, pardners! Nuff said.

The Gil Kane Marvel Comics Cover Gallery