May 4, 2006
Evil Robby Rips Apart Infinite Crisis #7
Power Girl's smashing breasts! Superboy's disgusting carnage! The wisdom of Bemzarro! Only a few of the many things awaiting you in Dial B For Blog's Infinite Crisis #7 and wrap-up review. As much as I hated Infinite Crisis #7, I loved this review. It made me laugh out loud and I couldn't explain to my wife what was so funny. I am almost glad this shit got published so I could laugh so hard.
External Link:
Dial B For Blog's Infinite Crisis Series Review
May 3, 2006
Infinite Crisis 7: We'll Always Have Mogo
Spoilers ahead; I am going to blow away everything, droogies.
Thank God it's over! That's all I can say after reading Infinite Crisis #7. The final chapter has left the DC Universe an even more convoluted mess. The Justice Society now remembers fighting alongside the Golden Age Superman in World War 2? Superman was active before Metropolis, indicating some kind of Superboy\Smallville action? I always wanted these two things back, but on the same Earth, we start to have serious continuity problems. Two Supermen? Did Krypton blow up twice? What does the general civilian population believe? Maybe in the DCU, school kids get a lesson on the multiverses to explain the difference between the two Supermen. Jeez, I just think having multiple Earths would really make this whole problem go away.
The battle with Superboy of Earth-Prime was very confusing. The two Supermen have no trouble taking down Doomsday in a quick two-page spread, but their combined might can't finish off Superboy? 
(I think the person who could have stopped Superboy instantly would have been Firestorm-have him create a ball of kryptonite with the right elements from Superboy's universe and it is over.) I don't understand why the Super Dudes fly through the remnants of Krypton and the Red Sun, without getting killed in space. Green Kryptonite is fatal to Superman and the Red Sun robs his powers very quickly, so why isn't Clark Kent a blistering corpse in outer space? This whole sequence had one redeeming feature: the appearance of Mogo from Alan Moore's classic short story, "Mogo Doesn't Socialize". Too bad about Superman 1, but I knew DC didn't want to keep him around. Leaving Superboy in that prison is just too convenient for another summer blockbuster.
The rest of the story is just another marketing ploy. The characters are practically screaming: Buy 52! Buy Superman! Buy the rebooted Wonder Woman and Flash! And speaking of the latter, Rich Johnston really nailed this spoiler in Monday's Lying in the Gutters. I can't believe that the new Flash #1 is going to feature Jay Garrick for very long. Didio already said that the first Flash we see in that book may differ from the final Flash that takes over. Is it going to be Wally or Bart?
This is going to make one mess of a trade collection. How can anyone make sense of this mini-series without reading the tie-ins like last week's Villains United special, when the prison break-outs occurred? OK, I've expelled my crankiness for today, but I eagerly await Dial B For Blog's review. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 2:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)April 17, 2006
What Happened to Dick Grayson, One Year Later? After saving the universe, Dick became a Himbo!
If there was anything good about Infinite Crisis, it was that Dick Grayson finally got some respect in the DC Universe. He was Batman's best sidekick and he's constantly proven himself to be a great team leader during his stints with the Titans and the Outsiders. (Dick's also a stud, after having bedded Starfire, Huntress, and Barbara Gordon.) Batman chose Nightwing to lead the assault on Alexander Luthor's multiuniverse prick of doom and he's standing there alongside the big DC troika. Yeah, Nightwing's arrived, he's a superstar! 
So what happens One Year Later? DC rewards Dick Grayson by giving him Bruce Jones as a writer. Jones promptly moves Nightwing to New York City and makes Dick a Himbo. We first see Dick giving a redhead multiple orgasms, which is a way to build your main character's respect if this is a Playboy short story, but not for a superhero. The redhead is no ordinary bimbo, she's a paranormal who flash-fries any man who gets too rough. Later she gets Dick to actually become a male model and dresses him in a Tarzan costume. Is it just me, or did Jones once again throw out the baby with the bath water? Maybe DC's editors forced him to abandon Bludhaven in order to squeeze out "The Battle for Bludhaven", which rates right up there with The OMAC Project special. I couldn't understand a single thing going on in the Bludhaven mini. Except that I always liked the idea of Dick getting his own corrupt city to run around in and try to reform. That damned Chemo! Let's not mention Jason Todd running around as the faux Nightwing, killing criminals and living the good life, except that it proves Dick must be on drugs. Dick Grayson could take out Jason Todd in a few minutes, because he doesn't carry the baggage of guilt that Bruce Wayne has concerning his former protege. The artwork by Joe Dodd just seems horribly amatuerish to me. Can you tell that I really hate Nightwing OYL? I'm rubbing my little statue of Roy Rogers and Trigger daily, just hopin' that Chuck Dixon comes back.
Dick's not doing any better in the Outsiders, where he's leading the team in a bid to bring down an African nation. I don't know about you, but corrupt African governments don't seem all that exciting in a superhero comic. I do like them when they appear in an episode of ALIAS for about ten minutes and Sydney blows up a building and flies back to LA for a quickie with Vaughn. I kinda think that maybe Judd Winick got all caught up in the Bono-thing and decided to create this Outsiders arc. Don't make no sense otherwise. I do wanna know who that speedster was on the last page. Poor Dick. Nuff said.
April 6, 2006
Infinite Crisis 6: Whatta Revoltin Development!
Infinite Crisis 6 is such a convoluted mess it would take me several hours to dissect it. Luckily, I have a feeling that Dial B For Blog will be making an annotated asshole-ripping soon. The biggest problem with Infinite Crisis is that it's just not a complete story. It's a sampler to make you buy lots of other DCU titles. Unlike other events, like Identity Crisis, it just wasn't fully thought out and planned as a story--it was planned as a way to retool the shared universe. The jam-style artwork really irritates me. Here are the highlights of what I didn't like:
- Jaime's Blue Beetle suit magically kicking in to find Brother Eye.
- Batman's pointless excuse for bringing Green Arrow along on the trip to outer space.
- Alexander's giant hands smashing the Earths together.
- Not fully explaining what happened to Superboy and the Flashes--you'll have to buy something else.
- The predicatable lead-in to Superboy's death.
- All multiple Earth's collapsed into one Earth...again! How many times has this happened?
The following events were OK, but not enough to justify this mega-event:
- Superman I and Superman II burying the hatchet. Will older Superman stick around? There was a statue in Action Comics.
- Batman's concern over Nightwing's survival.
- The Perez double-page spread of the alternate earths: Tangent, Bizarro, DC Western, Superman-Generations.
- Black Adam giving Psycho Pirate a lobotomy.
This week's IC spin-off title, The OMAC Project, is just a waste of time unless you're dying to get a preview of the new CheckMate series. Fire becomes a lethal hot babe. Sasha gets some of her metal removed. Brother Eye's database with all the secret identities is destroyed. It's just written and drawn so poorly. Save your money on this one, kids. Nuff said.
External Link:
Dial B For Blog Dissects Infinite Crisis #6
March 26, 2006
One Year Later: Batman, Robin, and Nightwing
DC Comics' One Year Later event still has me seriously under whelmed. I guess the whole point for the big three characters (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman) is to return to their classic roots. Which is something I've desired, particularly in Bruce Wayne's case, but the hype surrounding OYL promised even bigger changes, leading to my disappointment. I think I may be in the minority, as one review of James Robinson's Batman story in Detective called it "…the best Batman story I've ever read." I take that to mean that the reviewer never read a Batman comic where Bruce Wayne wasn't an asshole. Robinson's written a decent story, but it's just a reset to a kindler, gentler Batman. Batman #651 shows us that he gets along very well with Tim Drake (Robin), who helps take down Poison Ivy. It's a nice step in the right direction, but in my mind, Batman will be fully revived when Bruce Wayne gets a few pages every once in a while to run Wayne Enterprises, talk with Alfred, and bang some supermodels.
Nightwing 118 seems to have taken the biggest hit in quality OYL. The stories that Devin Grayson had been writing previously had a pretty decent plot and interesting characters. Bruce Jones' first issue lets us know that someone has been pretending to be Nightwing during Dick Grayson's absence. We all know this is Jason (although as Ain't It Cool noted, Jones never once declares him the impostor but the next issue blurb does) because he's using a knife to carve up child molesters. Dick has decided to take up residence in New York City (goodbye Bludhaven) and is fucking the Scarlet Witch (or the DCU equivalent). I think we should applaud Bruce Jones for not wiping out Nightwing's history and reinventing the character from scratch. I should give it more time, but to go from the Grayson-Hester stories to this is a jarring change. If Jones is gonna play the Nightwing-killed-somebody card here, and there's a comment in Robin that makes me think he might, then you've got two series with heroes falsely accused of murder.
Robin 148 uses the OYL event to spin Tim off in a strong new storyline written by newcomer Adam Beechen. In the opening pages, Tim is beaten by a foe who moves so fast that their identity remains hidden. After lashing out with some R-shaped throwing stars, he discovers that his target was Batgirl, and she's dead on the floor. While it is Cassandra Cain's costume, it's not her body-the girl in the suit is Lynx. Naturally the police go after Robin in a big way. This sets up a mystery for Tim to figure out: what happened to Cassandra Cain, and why is someone trying to frame him for murder? As we saw in the last issue of Batgirl, Cassandra appears to have given up her Bat-related identity after snapping her mother's (Lady Shiva) neck. It looks like Cassandra is shadowing Tim in this issue. Is she a villain? If so, Tim's in big trouble, because Batman plainly states that Tim would have no hope against Cassandra in physical combat.
There are some interesting hints to Bruce Wayne's whereabouts during the missing year. Apparently Bruce, Dick, and Tim have been globe-trotting, as he mentions Budapest. There's been some family bonding as the trio has learned to trust each other more completely than in the past, thus leading to the de-asshole-cation of Batman. I can't wait to see what Morrison and Dini are gonna do with the Batman that Robinson is giving them. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 7:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)March 20, 2006
When You Suddenly Get Laid, It's Time to Die!
There's a certain amount of speculation that Conner Kent is going to die during the last two chapters of Infinite Crisis. Judging from Teen Titans 33 and TT Annual 1, all signs do point to Conner's departure. Death Sign #1: 
In the Annual, Conner gets a visit from Big Daddy Luthor while he's in the regeneration tank. Luthor's obviously feeling pretty foolish, having been spanked by Alexander Luthor in front of the freakin world. There's a lengthy explanation of how Luthor had a hand in Conner's design and development. I wouldn't put it past Luthor to use Superboy as a weapon against his doppleganger. Death Sign #2: Also in the Annual, Conner and Cassie (Wonder Chick) have sex back at the Kent's farm in Smallville. DC really makes no bones about it in this sequence where they strip off their clothes. In the morning, Cassie wakes up wearing Conner's shirt. It's about as exciting as cold oatmeal. For some reason I can't think of anything but Dawson's Creek the way it's portrayed. The kids do look happy, but you really can't be happy like that for too long without a dramatic consequence. Death Sign #3: In TT #33, Conner teams up with Dick Grayson and travels to the North Pole in order to assault Alexander Luthor's giant tuning fork. Conner's feeling pretty low since Superboy-Prime almost killed him, and he's certainly feeling inferior next to Dick. My prediction is that Conner will go out like Supergirl in the original Crisis--dying to save the Earth.
There's another reason why I think Conner may get killed: he just isn't a classic character. DC has done a lot of work trying to restore Batman, Superman, Supergirl, etc., to classic form. Conner's one of those 90s inventions--he was conceived when "things went wrong" during the time that Superman died. One DC message board poster thinks that Teen Titans 36 has the clue: Cassie's wearing ripped jeans...his theory is that they are Conner's jeans. Or maybe Cassie just started shopping at Ambercrombie & Fitch! Place your bets now, droogies, just remember, Conner's not in any new DC solicitations that I've seen! Nuff said.
March 17, 2006
Infinite Crisis: Reverberations of Earths Past 5
Thought we were all done with reverbs, eh? So did I, until I read Infinite Crisis Secret Files. Despite my problems with the mini-series, this one shot is actually very compelling. It's my pick of the week and it's written by Marv Wolfman, who looks at life in the limbo-realm with Superman I, Alexander Luthor, and Superboy-Prime. Each character gets a chapter, and Wolfman uses a first-person viewpoint to make us sympathize with each one. I like this special for the rich characterization, something that is missing from the main Infinite Crisis series. However, something I am not sure that I do like, is how they use the device of Superboy having temper tantrums. Everytime the boy of steel pounds on the wall--I think he really just needs to get laid, because there are no teenage chicks in limbo--it screws up reality in the DC Universe. It's not just limited to Jason Todd. Here's an excerpt of Judd Winick's script from Batman Annual #25:
...with each fit rage, his fist colliding with the wall of his proverbial cell...he sent a ripple across time that would alter events. The strange truth of this anomaly, this wave that set so many bits of time on a different path did not change history...but set it right.
Infinite Crisis Special Pounding Page 1: Superboy causes the Legion of Superheroes to be reset to the new Mark Waid and Barry Kitson version. In Wizard 174, Waid says that "...issue #1 of the new series was, in fact, our first glimpse into the post-Infinite Crisis DCU." Clockwise from the Kitson-Brainiac picture, we see three different versions of Superman's rocket from Krypton. First one looks like Golden\Silver Age, second one is clearly the Byrne version, third one is Superman: Birthright? Next we see Batman holding a dead Jason Todd, then Jason alive in Hush mode. After Power Girl, we have three versions of the Doom Patrol: Byrne's version, Grant Morrison's version with Rebus, and the classic Silver Age DP. In Wizard, Johns says that none of the previous DPs have been erased--Superboy simply caused Rita Farr to survive the explosion. The DP should remember everything that's every happened to them. What about the Chief going bad and losing his head?
Infinite Crisis Special Pounding Page 2: The many modes of Wonder Girl, the most fucked up character in DC's history. We see little Wonder Babe (too young), Wonder Girl in Nick Cardy's wonderful red-stars costume (now we're talking), Perez's Troia costume, Donna's Darkstars uniform, then her outer-space uniform when came back to Earth (you can see they had to redesign for a cleavage split in the middle). Then it's Hawkman's turn--the second most ravaged DC character. Two versions of Metal Men--I have a theory about this. In one, Doc Magnus is human--I think the colorist fucked up and made his skin silver instead of pink. In the other picture, Magnus is Veridium, the robot form he assumed during the horrible limited series written by Mike Carlin (where the Metal Men were discovered to have been human). If that story is retconned, I'll be happy.
Infinite Crisis Special Pounding Page 3: If I interpret this correctly, then the reason that Hal Jordan became a drunk in Emerald Dawn is because of Superboy. Not only that, but that awful Hex series, where Jonah time-travelled to that future Mad Max version of Earth, is a result of Superboy as well! Or maybe I should I see it like Hex is no longer in the future, Jordan is no longer a drunk, because Superboy rectified it. The Challengers of the Unknown are next in line, and this is where my DCU knowledge ends. Who is the family in the middle? What's that scene with Batman and Dick referring to? And on the left, isn't that Gog on the bottom, but who are the two guys on top of him? Please help identify them if you can.
There you go, everything you ever hated about the DC Universe since the Crisis was either caused by Superboy, or rectified by him. I'd like to have this power. Pound the wall a few times, bam, Neal Adams finished the entire Kree-Skrull War in the Avengers. Bam, Jack Kirby did New Gods at Marvel and got partial ownership of his artwork and characters. Bam, Alan Moore retained the rights to Watchmen and did his prequel called the Minutemen. Bam, Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra make the R-rated sequel to Bound. Oops...better quit now while I'm almost ahead. Nuff said.
See also:
Infinite Crisis: Reverberations of Earths Past 4
Infinite Crisis: Reverberations of Earths Past 3
Infinite Crisis: Reverberations of Earths Past 2
Infinite Crisis: Reverberations of Earths Past 1
March 9, 2006
Firestorm: Thriving One Year Later
Now this is a One Year Later title that I fully endorse. I wasn't crazy about the new Firestorm when it launched two years ago. I always liked Ronnie Raymond and the adventures in Firestorm Volume 1 were pretty superhero stories by Gerry Conway--and John Ostrander kicked it up a notch before it ended. Volume 2 has a college kid called Jason Rusch who inherited the Firestorm matrix after the events of Identity Crisis. Stuart Moore has taken over the writing reigns and made Rusch's character and his predicament much more interesting by exploring the nature of the Firestorm matrix. It was going to be a worthy title for any DC fan's pull list regardless of OYL. In Firestorm 22, after a battle during Infinite Crisis left Jason mortally wounded, he encountered Martin Stein. For you Firestorm newbies, Stein was one-half of the classic Firestorm character. Firestorm is a matrix that combines two personalities in one form; one person is dominant and controls Firestorm, the other one gives advice. Stein, a scientist, was the best person to give advice to a kid with nuclear powers. After the conclusion of the first Firestorm series, Stein became an ethereal being and went off to explore outer space. Moore was very smart to bring him back and help Jason recreate the Firestorm matrix from scratch. It ties the series back to the first Firestorm, while paving the way to new adventures for Jason. In issue 22's story, "Building a Better Firestorm", Stein re-engineered the Firestorm matrix to allow Jason to have better control, while shutting down some powers that were just too unstable.
I was really looking forward to seeing Jason work with Stein. However, with Infinite Crisis, now all of that has occurred during the missing year. Something has happened to Stein-his whereabouts are unknown. Jason has merged with Lorraine Reilly-Firehawk-to figure out what happened to his mentor. But it's more than just a voluntary merge. Jason and Lorraine can't be physically separated for more than a mile. What happens after that distance, we'll find out next issue. But imagine the implications: if Jason goes on a date, Lorraine has to be in the same area. Lorraine, as a Senator, must keep Jason around Congress if she's working. Neither of them really likes it! Moore's really made this into an interesting superhero book. I applaud him for steering the book through the minefield of Infinite Crisis and making it even better. Check it out. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)March 7, 2006
How to Alienate Readers
Infinite Crisis #5. Sigh. How could a mini-series so promising become something so half-assed? I didn't write about it immediately because my list of complaints were a mile long. Fortunately, Evil Robby over at Dial B For Blog has written a review of Infinite Crisis #5 that graphically captures my sentiments, from the stupid Superman vs Superman fight to the pointless church scene at the beginning. Why are Kyle Rayner and the Shadowpact present at the church? Evil Robby says:
Could this have anything to do with the fact that another GL -- Kyle Rayner -- and Shadowpact are getting their own new comic books when "Crisis" ends? Could it also have anything to do with the fact that this "Crisis" series often reads like a marketing tool rather than a comic book? Yes to both.
If the DC Universe is just returned to the status quo, where they've got one Earth and the classic characters, that's not enough of a change. It's just a pointless waste of time. DC will have alienated long-time readers instead of retaining them. I'm not saying that DC has to bow down to fans wishes. Caving into fan pressure won't make for a good story. But so far, as Evil Robby pointed out, Infinite Crisis just seems like a launching pad for new series. Many thanks to Robby for pointing out that Superboy is wearing Anti-Monitor shoulder pads--a Bob Mackie original design!
Marvel's in the mood to alienate readers as well as DC. Fantastic Four 535 featured a really cool story with the Hulk fighting the Thing for the umpteenth time. It was cool because of Mike McKone's wonderful artwork--he draws the Thing the way that John Byrne did. At the end of the story, we see that it was Ben Grimm who planted the seed in Reed Richards' mind to exile the Hulk on an alien planet. That event kicked off the 14-part "Planet Hulk" storyline, which just seems like a clone of Superman's Warworld adventures. You know the Hulk's going to return to Earth more pissed off than ever, right? Reed's betrayal of Bruce Banner just flies against 40 years of continuity.
Sigh. Maybe it's time to stop reading new comics and just focus on the oldies. Nuff said.
External Link:
Dial B For Blog review of Infinite Crisis #5
March 5, 2006
One Year Later Arrives Like A Wet Blanket
There have been a few special occasions in DC's history when I've looked forward to seeing a revision of the entire line of monthly comics. One is the initial aftermath to the first Crisis in 1986, which took about a year to play out. The second was Zero Hour, a mini-series that wasn't so great, but all the Zero-numbered issues of DC comics were pretty well done and gave the heroes a pretty good boost. The third was DC One Million, where the Million-numbered issues were very good, mostly because Grant Morrison had a hand in plotting all of them. Now we have One Year Later, which promised to relaunch the DC universe with sweeping changes. But so far I'm unimpressed. Week one of One Year Later has arrived like a wet blanket.
Detective Comics 817: Jim Gordon is back as Commissioner, Bullock is back as a Detective, and Harvey Dent is a good guy patrolling the streets in Batman's absence. Gordon lights up the Bat-Signal; Batman and Robin respond. There's no evidence to deny that it's still Bruce Wayne behind the mask. Basically, we just get the picture that Gotham City's been returned to the status quo.
JSA 83: The Justice Society gets together after a year apart. They still appear to be on the same Earth as Batman and the Spectre. No surprises.
Outsiders 34: The first half of the book is this really boring lesson on African kid gangs. The Outsiders break their cover to stop them. Nightwing is the leader and appears to be Dick Grayson. However, Captain Boomerang has now joined the team-this is the kind of shocker I wanted. All the Outsiders were presumed to be dead during the missing year.
Batman Annual 25 takes place years earlier instead of later. It lays out how Jason Todd returned to life after getting beaten to death by the Joker. The means was a pretty cheap after-effect from Superboy punching on the walls during his imprisonment prior to Infinite Crisis #1. Alternate realities flashed back and forth for a time; in one of them, Jason Todd survived. He wakes up buried in the coffin (we all love Kill Bill, don't we?) and gets some surprising help from Talia and Ra's Al Ghul. Despite the cheap device, I thought this was a decent story. I understand Jason's motivation for hating Bruce Wayne-why doesn't he kill the Joker?
So far, I am disappointed with One Year Later. It's too early to condemn the whole thing as a failure. Maybe subsequent titles will make use of this time gap to shake up their heroes. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 5:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)
