Spider-Man: November 2006 Archives

Most comic books these days are a fast read, but it seemed like I read Civil War #5 in less than 5 minutes. I think it's the worst issue yet. It's dumb and worst of all, it's boring. Didn't we hear all kinds of hype that the later issues would blow away Civil War #2? And the logical continuity errors, even within recent history, are one big clusterfuck. I'll try to say this without spoiling too much...

1. Spider-Man versus Iron Man. Have both of them forgotten about Mary Jane and Aunt May? I didn't think they made it out of the building yet. If S.H.I.E.L.D. can track Spider-Man into a sewer, surely they could follow these two ladies on the street and get some leverage on Peter. And it's been said many times already, but why would Peter be dumb enough to wear the red costume that Tony made, probably with a GPS tracker built inside?

2. Iron Man and Maria Hill (Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.). Maria Hill overrides Tony in his attempt to reason with Peter. Would Tony Stark really take orders from this bitch? He's used to running his own fucking international corporation, for god's sake. It's like Bill Gates saying "Yes Mam" to Condoleeza Rice.

3. Thunderbolts versus Spider-Man. What a colossal let-down! The cover shows Bullseye, Venom, Green Goblin and other villains pounding the shit out of Peter. Wow, now that could be a pretty good fight, eh? WARNING! THIS COVER SCENE IS NOT FOUND INSIDE CIVIL WAR #5! Instead you get two minor villains on the Thunderbolt team. Daredevil could take these guys out when he has the flu. Why does Peter flail around like a n00b?

4. Daredevil and Iron Man. They don't have a clue he's Daniel Rand. Why is Tony Stark is so fucking dumb in this series? The whole freakin' world knows that Daredevil is Matt Murdock. Even if the public has been mislead, the superheroes know beyond a doubt. You're telling me that Tony Stark doesn't take off the mask to verify Daredevil's identity?

There are only two things I enjoyed about this issue: Steve McNiven's artwork and Frank Castle's appearance. Other than that, it's a bunch of crap. Nuff said.

Technorati : Civil War, Marvel Comics

You've been asked the question. We all have, whenever we were dumb enough to admit that we are comic book collectors. Who is your favorite superhero? Sometimes that depends on my mood. If I feel angry it's the Hulk, if I'm kinda isolated it's the Silver Surfer, or if I'm gonna perform a charitable act, it might be Superman. It's hard for me to choose just one, but if I had to, in my heart of hearts, I'd pick Spider-Man.

I got bitten by Spidey one day in 1970. My family had moved to Anchorage, Alaska, because my Daddy worked for Exxon and had to work there during the construction of the pipeline. Durin' the winter it was colder than heck, darker than hell, and there was plenty of time to read comics. I had seen Spidey on TV in those early cartoons, but never read his comics until I walked into a quick-mart and found Marvel Tales #29 sittin' on the rack. This "Double-Feature Special" was one heck of a deal: two Spidey stories (reprinted from Amazing Spider-Man 39-40) plus a Dr. Strange story for twenty-five cents! The cover looked suspicious to me; I never believed that Spider-Man would be unmasked before a villain. Up till this point I was a Superman/Batman devotee. This here Marvel Tales cover had to be like one of those gimmicky DC covers, right?

Hoo-boy, was I wrong. This two-part Spider-Man tale was the greatest super-hero story that I had ever read! Even though it was my first introduction to the Green Goblin and Norman Osborne, I had no trouble followin' the plot. I couldn't get over how methodically the Green Goblin had taken out Spidey: first, by blunting his Spider-Sense during a robbery. Second, followin' him around New York City and discoverin' his secret identity was Peter Parker. And third, attackin' him in front of his own house in Queens, with frail Aunt May just a few yards away behind a fog-enshrouded window. This kind of deal just didn't happen in DC Comics! Lex Luthor with his smart-ass brain didn't ever cotton to Clark Kent's identity and the Joker never tracked down Batman to Wayne Manor. (Maybe they did once or twice, but they were dumb enough to be fooled later.)

While I didn't get the full impact of the Green Goblin being revealed as Norman Osborne (because I didn't wait for 3-4 years to find out), I did get hooked into the soap opera. Norman was a short-tempered workaholic with no time for his teenaged son, Harry. When Peter Parker finally goads Osborne into fightin' him one last time, man to man, the Green Goblin gets an electro-chemical charge that erases his memory. Norman suddenly has no idea that he is a villain, but even better than that, he realizes he's been a total dumbass to his son Harry! Ain't that what most neglected boys want, just a bit of love and attention from their Daddies? I couldn't believe it when Sam Raimi didn't use this ending in the first Spider-Man movie, but that was one of many blunders regardin' his version of the Goblin.

This story is what made me a Spider-Man fan (and a Marvelite) for life. I got a subscription to Amazing Spider-Man because I kept waitin' for the day that tickin' time bomb would explode, the day Norman would become the Green Goblin again! Nuff said.

Technorati : Spider-Man