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Some people said that Dark Knight Strikes Again was Frank Miller's idea of a joke. I forget who said it, so I'm paraphrasing out of context, but the joke was the DC paid Miller booku bucks for a superhero sequel, and instead they got this indie comic. The most expensive indie comic ever made. Was it true? Who cares, it still sold like gangbusters and made DC a ton of money, not to mention the publicity. The first time I read DKSA, I hated it. It was nothing like the first Dark Knight mini-series. Starbucks-bashing, Republican-bashing, Flash wearing short biker pants, and another Superman-Batman fight where Supes loses again! Second time I read it, I liked it a little better. Not enough to actually buy the damn thing: I read it at Borders (first time) and from the public library (second time). Miller got enough of my money in the 80s and 90s. I bought everything he did: Daredevil, Wolverine, Ronin, Dark Knight, Sin City. Not to mention those What Ifs. What thanks did I get for making this nebbish a superstar? Did Miller invite me to the Sin City premiere so I could meet Carla Gugino? No. Fuck him. Everything FM writes will now be read for free in a chain bookstore.
All Star Batman and Robin: after the first three issues, I think it's safe to say that Frank Miller really hates the whole idea of superheroes. Or he just thinks the entire concept is so damn ludicrous. We've seen Batman slap Dick Grayson around in the second issue. In the third issue, he tells to Dick to "Shut Up" when the kid asks an innocent question. I think if I were Dick Grayson, I'd freaking run as fast as I could away from this lunatic. Batman has never been portrayed crazier than he is in this series. I was telling someone the other day that it reminds me of those old Mad magazine superhero parodies like Superduperman. It is hard to take seriously the thought of a teenager beating up experienced adult fighters. So maybe that is Miller's point. In the past, it was the ultimate child wish fulfillment, to do whatever an adult could do. The whole idea of teen sidekicks is just plain child abuse in the modern era. Although I suppose I hoped that Miller would find a way to reinvent the old and come up with a way for Bruce Wayne to actually be a father to Dick. Maybe the first step in this direction would be to change his name. No one wants to be called Dick anymore. I tried it in elementary school and the other kids kicked my ass.
Teen sidekicks, that's the first point; the second point is to give all fanboys an erection with Jim Lee's babelicious artwork. The level of cheesecake surprises me. Not that I mind cheesecake; I've got a ton of Gen13 comics in my closet. What we've never seen in any Miller superhero comic is that HE likes cheesecake. Elektra was sexy, but not really overtly. Sin City has cheesecake hooker ninjas, but they aren't superheroes. I think as a collective audience, when we read All-Star B&R #1, and saw Vicky Vale prancing around in her sexy pink panties, that we pretty much thought Jim Lee had to be responsible. I mean, Mr. Lee has drawn a number of outlandish babes, from Psylocke to Voodoo to those Marvel Swimsuit pin-ups. Rich Johnston broke that story of Miller's script actually instructing Lee: "OK, Jim, I'm shameless…Let's go with an ASS SHOT…she's got one fine ass." Boom shocka! That is damn fine investigative journalism, Mr. Johnston. I think you belong on 60 Minutes. Mike Wallace is gonna retire any minute.
For the cheesecake alone, All Star Batman and Robin might be worth buying. I was again surprised to read issue #3 with the appearance of Black Canary. It's pretty much an all BC-issue; Batman and Robin are only featured on 4 out of 20 pages. There's no connection between this BC and the Dinah Lance that we've known in Birds of Prey. This Canary is an Irish barmaid. (It looks like Miller lost that memo from Dan Didio about the All-Star line containing classic versions of DC characters.) For some reason she needs to wear a costume with fishnets and a mask while serving booze. Her bust has been expanded to a double D and the corset is so low that her jugs would have to pop out when fighting. A girl like this wouldn't be a barmaid for long, she'd probably be in Playboy. There are a lot of gratuitous crotch shots (for which I'm thankful) when Black Canary leaps and kicks a bar full of drunken men. Most of the comedy is about all these guys in a bar making libidinous comments about BC's ass, while a fuse (representing her tolerance) burns down on a stick of dynamite. When the patrons get out of control, Black Canary uses her kung fu to decimate the entire room. Apparently she's fantasizing about Batman while she does this. I guess if you think of this character as not Dinah but a Miller-esque crazy version of Black Canary, kind of like the ninja hookers in Sin City, you might be able to swallow this. Jim Lee does do a fantastic job of drawing those fishnets. I think he should abandon the Wildcats revival and just do a Black Canary book. Maybe it could be this version of Black Canary leading a gang of female superhero hookers kicking butt and falling in love with alcoholic ex-Leaguers. But I digress…
The timeline of events in All Star B&R also seems wacky. Bats is still taking Dick to the Batcave in the Transformer Batmobile (which cracks me up) for the first time. Meanwhile, Dick's face is already on milk cartons in Metropolis and Clark Kent is really pissed. Looks like we're gonna see another Superman-Batman conflict again. Sheesh! Can't Miller do something new? Like maybe have Black Canary fuck Batman and relieve his tension so he doesn't go around hitting teenagers. Nuff said.
