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April 29, 2006
Selling X-Men, Wolverine, Dark Knight Returns, and Miracleman!
Time for more pimpage on EBay. That Swamp Thing statue went for the low price of $20. I should have kept it for a paperweight! Oh well, this time I have 7 items queued up that you can also get for less than a case of beer at Costco. All stuff from the 1980s, this all came from a friend's collection who put them in the closet (all bagged and boarded) and hardly ever read them during the past decade.
Miracleman #1 and #2. This one ends May 2nd around 6:30pm PST.
Uncanny X-Men #176-179, 182-200. This one ends May 4th around 6:40pm.
Uncanny X-Men #201-216. This one ends May 4th around 6:40pm.
Classic X-Men #1-3. This one ends May 4th around 6:45pm.
Nightcrawler #1-4. This one ends May 4th around 6:45pm.
Wolverine #1-4. This one ends May 4th around 7:00pm.
Dark Knight Returns #1-4 and Batman #404. This one ends May 4th around 7:10pm.
I think most of these are pretty cool comics. I especially enjoyed re-reading the Classic X-Men comics. The Art Adams covers are great and so are the backup stories by John Bolton. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 7:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)Son of Satan Part 4: Who's Daimon's Daddy?
In 1993, Marvel Comics brought Daimon Hellstrom back in his own series once again, but it wouldn't be called Son of Satan. Instead, the editors chose the name: Hellstorm! For no good reason, other than the fact that transposing two letters in Daimon's name makes for some cheap excitement. Written by Rafael Nieves and drawn by Michael Bair, it threw out as much of the superhero trappings as possible-a more Vertigo-ized version. The cape and the boots were gone, as well as the metallic trident (he summoned an energy-based version instead) and the demon drawn chariot. But it did preserve one tradition, in that the first issue was a confusing mess involving a doppelganger, while the second issue retold Daimon's origin and recent history. We learned that Daimon had been separated from his Darksoul at the conclusion of his adventures with the Defenders.
In issue #2, we learned that this wasn't your friendly neighborhood Son of Satan. Something's different right off the bat, when Doctor Strange pays a visit and finds Daimon picking up Satanic-floozies in a bar. Daimon is still married to Patsy Walker, but she's insane and spends all her days in bed chanting Satanic verses. A flashback in issue #3 tells us how this happened. Daimon was dying as a result of being separated from the Darksoul. Patsy uses incantations found in a Satanic book to summon the Devil, who instills the Darksoul back into Daimon's body. It doesn't come without a price, as the transformation snaps Patsy's mental hold on reality. After that, the writers didn't really seem to know how to handle Patsy, so they killed her off, but she made her way out of Hell in Thunderbolts Annual 2000.
Len Kaminsky took over as the writer around issue 4, tying up plots that Nieves had started. A lot of these stories involved Daimon fighting demons and blasting away at them with hellfire blasts. My favorite issue by Kaminsky, and possibly the best single story that I enjoyed in this Son of Satan review, is Hellstorm #11. Daimon has fallen down to Hell after trying to break into Heaven. He is greeted by a man who says, "That must have been some fall. I could see you from miles away." Daimon asks who he is, and the man replies: "Simon Garth, at your service."
Since I am the biggest (and maybe only) Tales of the Zombie fan on the planet, I recognized this name immediately. I enjoyed Kaminsky's little nod back to Marvel's black and white magazine era. Garth takes Daimon on a tour of Hell, where we get a nice departure from the typical people-burning-in-caves motif. Some areas resemble various wars throughout history, while another one looks like a terribly industrial city, and my favorite area is a big shopping mall with a store called Nostalgia. "It's not the Devil who judges mankind. Not God who damns them for Eternity. It's themselves." After Daimon sees his mother being tortured, he realizes this isn't Simon Garth at all-it's his father, the Devil.
Hellstorm 11 concluded with father and son meeting face to face, while Hellstorm 12 picks up some time later with a new writer, Warren Ellis. Ellis would reveal a few issues later that Daimon actually killed his father during the confrontation that ensued, and that Daimon was now the ruler of Hell. Furthermore, Ellis proposed that Daimon's mother wasn't the sweet naïve little country girl we all thought. She was the daughter of a satanic cult who prepared her to give birth to Satan-spawn. Daimon's father wasn't really Satan but a Sumerian demon called Marduk Kurios who assumed control of Hell. Despite these revelations, Hellstorm wasn't a good series at all. Too much meandering around, attempts to genre up the horror-satanic angle with X-Files/Millenium overtones, and sub-plots with Satana and Gabriel the Devil-Hunter which went nowhere.
To my amazement, Daimon appeared in various Marvel titles after this series was cancelled. In the four issue run of Druid (also written by Ellis), he kills the titular character in the last issue. He appears in Fantastic Four Annual 1999 by Claremont and Ladronn, where he appears in his original costume. He also appeared in Thunderbolts Annual 2000 when Patsy Walker escaped from Hell, and in the Hellcat mini-series later in 2000. During the latter story, written by Steve Englehart, Daimon's parentage takes an even stranger twist when his father is revealed to the Satannish as the grandson of Mephisto.
All these events, in my opinion, left the Son of Satan character in pretty bad shape--almost as bad as Hawkman once was over at DC. Perhaps at some future date, Daimon Hellstrom will be revived again. In the meantime, if you take a vacation in Fire Lake, watch out for mysterious underground passageways, they might just lead you to Hell. Nuff said.
See also:
Part I: Daimon Hellstrom, The Son of Satan!
Part II: Dealing with Darksouls
Part III: Teaming Up With the Marvel Universe
External Links:
Hellstorm Son of Satan
April 28, 2006
Son of Satan Part 3: Teaming Up with the Marvel Universe
Daimon Hellstrom made various appearances throughout the Marvel Universe, as did many horror characters from the 70s. His first pit stop was in Giant Size Defenders #2. This was probably his best guest-starring role, by the team of Len Wein and Gil Kane. This was the first time I ever remembered liking Gil Kane's artwork (though I grew to appreciate it as I grew older) due to the dynamic inking job of Klaus Janson. The Hulk is tricked into going to Hell via another underground route-this time in the basement of an old building-the NY housing authority wasn't very good at the time. Dr. Strange has no means to rescue the Hulk other than to bring Daimon Hellstrom into the team.
I think I liked Daimon much more in the early Defenders tales than I did in his own series. Daimon later joined the Defenders in issues 23-25 to help them fight the Sons of Satannish. Despite the name, they had little to do with Satan. The Sons were Marvel's version of the Ku Klux Klan, but they were powerful enough to knock out Doc Strange for two issues, leaving Daimon in charge to save the day.
The Son of Satan also appeared in Marvel Team-Up, but with the Human Torch instead of Spider-Man. I guess the writer must have loved the idea of the human fireball working together with Daimon's hellfire powers. The story ends with Johnny letting Hellstrom walk off alone: "Whatever it is he is going through, it must be Hell."
Not to be outdone by Johnny, the Thing needed some Satan-time as well. Daimon stepped into Marvel Two-In-One #14 to help Ben Grimm fight a demon. At the end of this adventure, Grimm says: "I hate to end and run, Hellstrom, but I've seen enough of the kind of parties you hang out at to last me a lifetime! I mean...I kinda got the gist of what your act is...and I don't need it, fella! Be seeing you."
My second favorite Daimon Hellstrom guest spot occurred after his series was cancelled. Steve Gerber was making Howard the Duck into a runaway hit, and took Howard on a road trip with unpredictable results in HTD 13-14. Issue 13 has Howard locked up in a mental institution, where he meets the rock group K.I.S.S. (a promotion for the KISS Super Special that Gerber wrote). Daimon has been summoned to the hospital to exorcise a demon from Howard's friend, Winda. As Daimon transforms into the Son of Satan, the change is interrupted by another mystic and the arrival of Howard. Howard becomes…the Duck of Satan! I love the cape, minature trident, and the pentagram on Howard's feathered chest.
Daimon eventually settled as a permanent member of the Defenders, where he met Patsy Walker. Patsy had an interesting history: she was a female version of Archie for Marvel's line of comics aimed at younger readers during the 50s and 60s. In the 1970s, Steve Englehart transformed Patsy into a superhero called Hellcat in the Avengers. Hellcat eventually moved over to the Defenders, and it must have been irresistible to have the Son of Satan fall in love with her. It happened in the mushiest of ways, culminating in this backup story in Marvel Fanfare 59, where Daimon travels to Patsy's childhood home in the South.
Daimon and Patsy faded off into Marvel limbo, waiting for a writer to revive them. In Part 4, we'll see the Vertigo-ization of Daimon Hellstrom. Nuff said.
See also:
Part I: Daimon Hellstrom, The Son of Satan!
Part II: Dealing with Darksouls
Part IV: Who's Daimon's Daddy?
External Links:
Hellstorm Son of Satan
April 27, 2006
Wolverine 41: Stuart Moore Writes the Pick of the Week!
After reading Wolverine: Origins #1, I was pretty down on Marvel's most popular mutant. I didn't know what to expect from Wolverine #41, other than it was a 1-issue tale by Stuart Moore that gives some breathing room to the new creative team. But this is a winner, and I think if there's any awards given for Best Single Issue Story, it would surely be nominated. The plot is very simple: in an African nation overrun by crime-lords, Logan is dispatched by the Black Panther to rescue the baby girl of the President. Wolverine straps the baby into a chest harness and runs for the border on foot, but it's many miles away. 
He's hunted by General Lago's army, who want to eliminate the possibility of the girl growing up to be a future leader. You have to accept one story element on faith--that someone like Iron Man or the Sentry didn't rescue the girl instantly by flying in and flying out. It's even questionable why the Black Panther didn't use one of his fantastic flying machines to quickly pickup Logan after he gets the girl. The excuse is that T'Challa's not going to start an international incident, and neither are the Avengers.
It's easy for me to accept it, because I like seeing Logan rise to the challenge of fighting and carrying the baby. It's a riff that Moore admits he cribbed from Lone Wolf and Cub. Logan can't go into berserker mode without damaging the kid. He tries to talk his way out of various situations, but it doesn't always work. The artwork in this story by C.P. Smith is just astounding. The heavy use of black ink and shadows reminds me very much of Frank Miller's take on Wolverine. There's a scene involving arrows that's very reminiscent of the Miller\Claremont mini. It looks like Smith did the pencils, inks, and colors--and the color really meshes beautifully with the story. I've never heard of C.P. Smith until this story, but I'm going to watch out for him now.
Congratulations to Stuart Moore and C.P. Smith. These guys are now major leaguers in my book. You guys have to get this, even if you are burned out or jaded on Wolverine. My only regret is that Stuart Moore won't be the regular Wolverine writer. Nuff said.
External Link:
CBR article on Stuart Moore's idea for this story.
April 26, 2006
Fantastic Four 537: Sorry Doom, You Can't Take That Uru Hammer!
Oh, the cover to Fantastic Four 537 really suckered me in good. Remember when Doc Doom stole the Silver Surfer's powers? Just imagine what he would do with Thor's power! Nah, not gonna happen. Only whoever is worthy can wield the power of Thor, and it ain't some two-bit rustpot from Latveria. I've vented my frustration by adding a little colorful warning to the cover...
Despite that non-event, the story was still weak. Wasn't it just too convenient how Doom got out of Hell? Good timing with the fall of Asgard and hitching a ride on Thor's hammer. McKone's artwork is great, and the story did allow him to do some neat full page spreads. Ben Grimm slugging it out with Doom was my favorite and would be a great buy for an original art collector.
Dr. Don Blake is getting on that bus to get the hammer, or is this another tease? Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 8:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)April 25, 2006
Son of Satan Part Deux: Dealing with Darksouls
While it was never a best-seller, the Son of Satan character was popular enough to last through 13 issues of Marvel Spotlight (12-24) and 8 issues of his own title. Part of that popularity was due to the Satan-themed movies in the 1970s and the fact that Steve Gerber took over as the writer in Marvel Spotlight 14. Before the series co-creator Gary Friedrich left, he had to tell the story of Daimon's conception and childhood.
Daimon Hellstrom's origin actually appeared in Marvel Spotlight #13, his second full blown appearance. It borrows heavily from Rosemary's Baby, but it's not quite as elegantly told. We see Satan coming to Earth and taking on the form of a handsome man, although I think Daimon's mom could have been tipped off by the pointed ears. Maybe she thought she was fucking Namor?
Apparently life was pretty good with Satan during the first few years (except for some mysterious business trips to Hell), and then things changed when the kids were born. First came Daimon, then his sister Satana, who turned out to be a little succubus minx. I'll cover her story later, but let's just say that Daimon's Mom finally figured out that things weren't going well when she stumbled upon Satana sacrificing a cat in the basement. Little episodes like that drove her to an insane asylum, leaving Daimon to go to a seminary and become a priest. While Daimon grew up unaware that his father was the Devil, Satana apparently knew from a young age and had no problem with the concept. On his 21st birthday, Daimon learns the truth after getting summoned to Hell, and steals Satan's trident and chariot to fight his war against Dear Old Dad.
Friedrich (and possibly Stan Lee or Roy Thomas) clearly meant for Daimon to resemble the early version of the Hulk, or perhaps DC's character Eclipso, with dual natures constantly fighting each other. By day, Daimon was a priest; by night he was the Anti-Christ. When Steve Gerber took over, he jettisoned this concept very quickly. On his birthday, Daimon awakes after a nightmare to find that his dual personalities have merged. He doesn't suffer transformations from dusk to dawn and he can transform into a trident wielding madman at the drop of a hat. Daimon still has a Darksoul which constantly threatens to overwhelm his personality. Gerber also dropped the role of Daimon as a Priest and made him a Professor of Parapsychology, which allowed him to visit various places to perform exorcisms.
It took Gerber a while to figure out how to write good Son of Satan stories. His initial tale had Daimon fighting an Ice Demon called Ikthalon. Another tale attempted to bring Daimon into Gerber's Zhred-Na priestess mythology from Man-Thing. Gerber's most memorable tale was in Marvel Spotlight 20-22 (The Fool's Quest), where Daimon encountered a mystical Tarot card reader. After displaying Daimon's fate in a series of Tarot cards, he undergoes a series of trials which resemble them. The trials bring back various people from his past, including his mother, Satana, Ghost Rider. The last trial sees Daimon fighting the physical presence of his Darksoul. At the conclusion of the story, Daimon says: "…I've won the most important battle of my life. The one every man must face at some time in his life…the crisis of self-acceptance." In other words, Daimon had momentarily come to terms with his Darksoul.
After the Spotlight run concluded, Son of Satan #1 appeared in the fall of 1975. A new writer, John Warner, was onboard for the first seven issues. Warner attempted to develop new villains for the series, including one called The Possessor, but they didn't really match the excitement of Satan. I think this was a problem for any writer tackling this character. How can you get any bigger than Satan? Warner's run was complicated by the artwork of Sonny Trinidad, who was more suited to the black and white horror magazines. The best story was in the last issue (#8) featuring a nice art job by Russ Heath over a script by Bill Mantlo.
Daimon's book died at the time the United States got all over Satan--was it any coincidence this occured when the Republicans were getting ready to leave the White House? Some pundits claim horror sells better during a Republican administration. But the Son of Satan remained in the Marvel Universe, which I'll cover in Part Three. Nuff said.
See also:
Part I: Daimon Hellstrom, The Son of Satan!
Part III: Teaming Up With the Marvel Universe
Part IV: Who's Daimon's Daddy?
External Links:
Hellstorm Son of Satan
April 24, 2006
Wolverine Origins #1: No Origins For You!
Despite Wolverine's massive over-exposure, I was tantalized by the hype for the new Wolverine: Origins series. Wolverine exploring his past, drawn by superstar artist Steve Dillon? How could that go wrong? A writer working on that series could explore all kinds of subjects. Logan in World War 2. Logan as a cold war op. Logan in post-war Japan. Logan before and after the Weapon-X storyline by Barry Smith. All kinds of shit. Wolverine: Origins #1 is nothing like that.
Call me crazy, but the first issue of a new series needs to set the tone for the later issues. Marvel doesn't really follow my way of thinking-they launched Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man in the middle of The Other crossover. If you haven't been reading House of M, New Avengers, and Wolverine's main series, you will be completely lost picking up this first issue. There's no recap covering Wolverine's known origin to date, which I find puzzling as hell, given the series title. Marvel just assumes all the fanboys out there already know it, but what about the kid who picks this up because they dig Wolverine from the X-Men movie? I think they should have stated the major moments of Logan's past (World War 2, Weapon X, Alpha Flight, maybe some moments from Origin) and then explained what he's seeking now. I'm even a bit baffled and I've read all this crap.
Daniel Way's lost me on many titles. I didn't think the Squadron Supreme Nighthawk mini was all the great, and Punisher vs Bullseye seems like a Road Runner cartoon with bullets. I listened to an interview with Way on a Word Balloon podcast and he's got tons of ideas for Wolverine, but I think his execution is a bit off. One thing I did like was hooking up Logan's missing past with Bucky's. However, this whole thing about Wolverine using the Muramasa samurai blade to enact vengeance just makes me think that Way misses the whole point about Wolverine. Logan is supercool because he takes on much bigger enemies with just his claws; he takes an incredible amount of damage in the process, but survives due to his healing factor. A prime example is Uncanny X-Men 173 when Wolverine fought Silver Samurai. Logan got sliced and stabbed but he took apart Samurai's armor like it was made out of tin foil. Wolverine needs a sword? It just seems dumb to me. What the fuck do I know, this debut issue has probably sold enough copies for both Way and Dillon to buy new houses. Nuff said.
April 22, 2006
Pick of the Week: Daredevil 84!
Brubaker and Lark continue to amaze in Daredevil 84. When an A-list creator leaves a long running series, usually the team that follows will disappoint in one way or another. I remember when Frank Miller left Daredevil after his first run and Denny O'Neil took over the writing. While O'Neil was a solid scripter, he just couldn't match the same level of excitement that Miller brought to the series. 
Brubaker's defied the odds by taking Matt's situation of being in jail and made his situation as bad as it could possibly be. Not only is Foggy dead, Matt's secret identity is blown up for certain, with him beating down thugs left and right. We see in this issue that Matt can escape from prison anytime he wishes to do it-he's staying because the bad guys have a world of hurt coming to them. Think that isn't bad enough? Throw in Bullseye, the Kingpin, and the Punisher into the penitentiary, and you've got the makings of a humongous battle royale coming up. I'm so hyped about Daredevil that I'll even forgive Brubaker for stealing from Silence of the Lambs in the opening scene.
Kingpin's arrival is very interesting. He helped the feds put Matt in jail…is it possible he has a plan to get them both out?
I'm also wondering if Daredevil will play a role in the Civil War event. Matt Murdock seems like a prime example of why you wouldn't want your secret identity exposed or registered. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 2:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)April 20, 2006
Celebrating One Year Birthday...With Justice!
Today is the one year anniversary of Photon Torpedoes. We're having fun writing bitchy and misanthropic posts on almost daily basis. I wasn't sure if we could continue this past a year, but it still seems like fun. Keep watching during the next week because I'm cooking up a little Gil Kane Gallery, which I hoped to have ready today, but this also happens to be my last day of work at my current company.
I'm really starting to dig Alex Ross and Jim Krueger's Justice series. Ross has thrown everything into this that he loves about the DC Universe. The Legion of Doom's master plan is starting to be revealed and it's quite a doozy. They seem to know the secret identities of the superheroes and they are trying to overpower them one by one. I'm worried about Aquaman, who looks like he's been dissected by Braniac in a laboratory. Superman was almost destroyed by the perfect trio of Parasite, Bizarro Superman, and Metallo. I love Ross' version of Bizarro Superman, he looks like Frankenstein with super-powers. When this project was started, I had doubts about Doug Braithwaite providing the pencils\breakdowns for Ross' painting, but they mesh perfectly together. As you can see above in that full page view of Superman getting saved by the Big Red Cheese.
I have to confess that I love it whenever Wonder Woman fights Cheetah. I loved it during the Golden Age stories by Moulton, during the Perez revamp, and Ross' version of this conflict is titillating as hell. There's something here I can't figure out: how can Cheetah hold Wonder Woman down by squatting on her back? WW is almost as powerful as Superman. Diana has been poisoned by Heracles' Lament, a centaur's poison, so she's possibly in a weakened state.
I think my biggest fanboy moment must have been the time that Alex Ross appeared on World Talk Radio's Comic Zone. I told him: "I love your work and I buy everything you do!" Sheesh, but it's the truth. I have the Marvels poster framed on my wall, and several additional Ross posters are in my closet because I have no where to hang them. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 9:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)April 19, 2006
Giant-Sized Babes #2: When Fitness Babes Ruled the Morning!
OK fellers, our hits just took a nosedive, so you know what that means: more gratuitous babes and breasts! I'm targetin' this post towards our younger viewers. Think of this as history lesson from your veneered master, Cousin Dick. Before Maxim, before Stuff Magazine, before FHM, men had a cheap and easy way of seeing pounds of silicone for free. Because in the morning hours between 7am - 9am, we had…fitness babes!
The road to silicone was a rough one. During the early 1980s, aerobics was the big fitness thing sweeping the nation. Ladies started imitatin' the female cast of the Legion of Superheroes by puttin' on thongs outside of skin-tight leotards. Cynthia Kereluk, a former Miss Canada, ignited a dormant fanbase when her Everyday Workout program appeared on TV. Kereluk's cameraman might not have discovered the all important crotch shot (see 1st pic above), but he used it with aplenty. So did the Hawaiian-based TV show called Bodies in Motion, where lovely gals danced and juked in front of the ocean. I quite liked that tropical babe in the last pic, though I never learned her name.
The craze was really kicked off in the mid-1980s by ESPN when they premiered an exercise show called Bodyshaping. I am sure the producers of Bodyshaping had every intention of turnin' us beer-swillin' couch potatoes into muscled men of steel. But watchin' a bunch of fellers lift weights for a half hour can get a mite boring. So they added babes to the mix, starting with Cory Everson and Kiana Tom, who we'll see later. The best reason to watch Bodyshaping was a sweet little brunette gal called Jennifer Dempster. Kamiko Tanaka, a cheerleader from LA, was another standout in the early years. I think ESPN's ratings went up every time a babe did a breast pump. The male trainers obviously appreciated their efforts.
After years of successful ratings, ESPN decided, what the heck, lets' just ditch the men! Cory Everson and Kiana Tom both received their own weekday programs, which helped put ESPN2 on the map. Cory's program was called Gotta Sweat and was filmed mostly in Las Vegas, at places like the Luxor Hotel. It was probably the most serious program about exercise, but also the sexiest, because of Cory and her supporting cast. Cameo Kneuer, Cory's bodacious (and some say even sexier) sister, was a regular on the program, helping lift weights and build silicone. Cory's gal-pal Michelle LeMay helped out with an aerobics segment that also featured my favorite camera techniques. Cory was very popular at the time, with calendars, magazine covers, and acting-she appeared in three episodes of Hercules as an Amazonian-type warrior and the movie Ballistic, where she fought Marjean Holden to the death.
Kiana Tom's program was called Kiana's Flex Appeal, but we were all thinking sex appeal. The show started off with a montage of images featuring Kiana, walking around a white-sandy beach in her bikini. Kind of like a third-rate version of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit video. When Kiana was young, no one could match that tight toned-little body with the C-cups stapled onto her chest. Kiana tried to make fitness fun, but whatever she did, it was just sexier than heck. Kiana tried to tell us about cross-training, so she ran in the pool, while the camera photographed her tight buns moving underwater. Volleyball was supposed to be good exercise, and it was, for my VCR to step through the frames and see how much her breasts jiggled. Kiana's Flex Appeal lasted longer on ESPN2 than the other Bodyshaping spinoffs-Craig Kilborn had Kiana appear as a guest on his program. He asked Kiana to demonstrate her sit-up technique, but he told her that he needed to enjoy it the way he always did: sitting back on his chair with a glass of whiskey. So Kilborn had an assistant do the crunches with Kiana! This was about the time that Kiana started falling apart; by the time she appeared in Playboy, I thought she was passed her prime.
After Gotta Sweat and Flex Appeal, I concluded there was no frontier left in the genre. I knew how wrong this cowboy could be when I tuned into a show called Fitness Beach. Starring Deborah Khazei, Kathy Derry, Denise Paglia, and Leeann Tweeden, it should have just been called Silicone Beach. It really made your day a lot more cheerful, especially if your TV was in the bedroom. If you liked blondes, there was Kathy, asian-exotic there was Denise, and if you got the Fredericks of Hollywood lingerie catalog, there was Leeann! Who didn't love seeing Leeann pump weights on a bench with an overhead camera shot?
The other women always treated Leeann like she was a total bimbo, showing her how to do simplest weight movements. I always imagined they were jealous of Leeann's screen time. But I knew that Leeann was destined for greatness and I was right! She's more popular than ever on ESPN and has had countless magazine spreads.
Like the dinosaurs, these fitness shows started dying off after we got into the 21st century. I have to believe that the Internet killed off these shows, with porn-on-demand, who wants to watch fitness babes except old farts like me? Denise Austin carried the torch for a little while on Lifetime with two shows back to back. Denise is good if you like short, stocky little blondes and you want a MILF to spice things up. She wore some pretty nice one and two piece outfits, although you'll have to be an ass-man to appreciate Denise, as she's never gone the silicone route. My favorite was the elusive "white leotard" which I've preserved here for posterity. Denise looked hot during 2000-2003 or so, but I think Lifetime's cracked down on the revealing workout wear. Nowadays she wears baggy pants, doubtlessly because of complaints from housewives across the country.
So whaddya think, true believers? Is the fitness bimbo craze officially dead? Did I miss anything? Nuff said.
External Links:
Bodyshaping Gallery
Cynthia Kereluk Fansite 1
Cynthia Kereluk Fansite 2
Cory Everson Official Site
Cory Everson Fan Site
Denise Paglia Fan Site 1
Denise Paglia Fan Site 2
Leeann Tweeden Fan Site 1
Leeann Tweeden Fan Site 2
