Photon Torpedoes: When You Suddenly Get Laid, It's Time to Die!

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March 20, 2006

When You Suddenly Get Laid, It's Time to Die!

There's a certain amount of speculation that Conner Kent is going to die during the last two chapters of Infinite Crisis. Judging from Teen Titans 33 and TT Annual 1, all signs do point to Conner's departure. Death Sign #1: In the Annual, Conner gets a visit from Big Daddy Luthor while he's in the regeneration tank. Luthor's obviously feeling pretty foolish, having been spanked by Alexander Luthor in front of the freakin world. There's a lengthy explanation of how Luthor had a hand in Conner's design and development. I wouldn't put it past Luthor to use Superboy as a weapon against his doppleganger. Death Sign #2: Also in the Annual, Conner and Cassie (Wonder Chick) have sex back at the Kent's farm in Smallville. DC really makes no bones about it in this sequence where they strip off their clothes. In the morning, Cassie wakes up wearing Conner's shirt. It's about as exciting as cold oatmeal. For some reason I can't think of anything but Dawson's Creek the way it's portrayed. The kids do look happy, but you really can't be happy like that for too long without a dramatic consequence. Death Sign #3: In TT #33, Conner teams up with Dick Grayson and travels to the North Pole in order to assault Alexander Luthor's giant tuning fork. Conner's feeling pretty low since Superboy-Prime almost killed him, and he's certainly feeling inferior next to Dick. My prediction is that Conner will go out like Supergirl in the original Crisis--dying to save the Earth.

There's another reason why I think Conner may get killed: he just isn't a classic character. DC has done a lot of work trying to restore Batman, Superman, Supergirl, etc., to classic form. Conner's one of those 90s inventions--he was conceived when "things went wrong" during the time that Superman died. One DC message board poster thinks that Teen Titans 36 has the clue: Cassie's wearing ripped jeans...his theory is that they are Conner's jeans. Or maybe Cassie just started shopping at Ambercrombie & Fitch! Place your bets now, droogies, just remember, Conner's not in any new DC solicitations that I've seen! Nuff said.