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March 30, 2006
Is That a Skrull, or Is He Really Tony Stark?
New Avengers Illuminati has us loving to hate Brian Michael Bendis all over again. Actually, I think we should hate JMS and Mark Millar, who probably blackmailed Bendis into including their stupid plot points into this special. The scene that I object to is the one above, where Tony Stark tells the other leaders that they should kowtow to the U.S. government's superhero registration act. Never mind that this really makes no sense to everyone assembled. Reed Richards has no secret identity as Mr. Fantastic. Dr. Strange doesn't wear a mask. Namor and Black Bolt not only are public figures, they are rulers of their own countries, so why would they give a fuck? But I just can't see Tony Stark telling them they have to "roll over" (in Namor's words) to the government. It's completely out of character.
Tony Stark is the dude that went after the government in a big way during the first Armor Wars. He discovered that his technology had been stolen and was being used in armor by various individuals and groups. Three of them worked for the government: the Mandroids (S.H.I.E.L.D.), the Guardsmen, and Stingray. In the scene above, Stark pulls the wool over Nick Fury's eyes long enough to hack into S.H.I.E.L.Ds database to get the lowdown on the Mandroids. Stark's very origin is counter-culture in a way: born out of the Vietnam war, vowing never to allow his technology to be used by a government to kill people.
This is a paradigm shift in the way that Marvel's current crop of writers see this character. I have a feeling they must equate it with big business. Sheesh.
There is one thing I loved about this Illuminati special: Namor. He's wearing my favorite costume that just makes him look regal, and he's so full of piss and vinegar. It makes me year to see a Namor comic written by Bendis. How weird would that be? Nuff said.
Posted by Adam Warlock at 8:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)March 29, 2006
FOOM: Friends Of Old Marvel!
Imagine being a kid in the 1970s, a Marvel zombie who sent $2.50 to a P.O. Box in New York City months earlier, going to his mailbox and finding a large envelope that you see here. The Hulk's green smiling head plastered all over, with your name and address inside his mouth. It was the membership kit for F.O.O.M. (Friends Of Old Marvel), Marvel's fan organization. Marvel had tried a fan club before in the 1960s, called MarvelMania, but it failed because it was run outside of the company. F.O.O.M. was orchestrated inside the company by Jim Steranko (at least for the first four issues), the incredible writer-artist who worked on S.H.I.E.L.D. and Captain America. Steranko's imprint made FOOM special. Besides the envelope, there was an incredible poster (depicting Black Bolt, Angel, Captain America, Hulk, Silver Surfer, etc.) by the master, some stickers, and the first issue of the magazine. 
On the front cover, Stan Lee spouted faux-Shakespearean gibberish about what a great guy I was, just to spend $2.50 on FOOM: "Here in the hallowed circle thou art truly amongst thy peers-thou art truly welcome-thou art truly safe and secure within the fabled, far-flung Fellowship of Foom!"
FOOM, the magazine, was published quarterly, and lasted for nearly four years. Steranko's formula was to creator bios, profile pieces, games\puzzles, and previews of upcoming Marvel Comics. In 1975, they conducted some fan awards. This was before the Internet, before Wizard, before any widely available source of comics news. I've put together a collection of images from my favorite issues of FOOM in Gallery Photon. Besides the Steranko covers, you will see a John Romita Captain America and Bucky cover, a Jim Starlin cover with his favorite cosmic characters, a King Kirby cover, and some amusing jokes like the Incredible Hunk and the Mistress of Kung Fu. If you remember FOOM, give me a holler. Nuff said.
Posted by Cousin Dick at 12:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)March 28, 2006
Living in Oblivion
I wasn't sure what to think when I finally picked up my copy of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion for the Xbox 360. This game has been long awaited and exceedingly well hyped up to the 3/21/06 launch date. While I was pretty sure it would be a good game, it was the Oblivion game guide from Brady Games that stopped me from opening the box for a day. The game guide is over 300 pages long. And it isn't just one of those guides that replicate what's in the Bethesda manual-no, it actually tells you to read the manual and come back! The guide has detailed maps, notes on each dungeon, and incredibly detailed stats on all races. Without their suggestions on character creation, I doubt that I could have come up with a Pure War Wizard (a High Elf with Destruction and Melee combat skills).
How's the game? It's fun, addicting, and totally open-ended with tons of choices to play the game the way that you decide. The graphics show off a world that is lush, beautiful, and dangerous. The gameplay is much like Diablo crossed with a First Person Shooter (if you choose that mode instead of third person). You see through your character's eyes, swinging swords and casting spells at your enemies. When you walk through a dimly lit dungeon, you can carry a torch and instantly swap it for a weapon when trouble arrives. When people say this game probably has over 100 hours, if not 200 hours, they are not kidding. The minute you escape from the dungeons and start walking around, there are dungeons, caves, and mini-quests everywhere. I keep trying to get to Imperial City and I stumble across another dungeon filled with loot. There's a place nearby that has some vampires that I might want to see, too. This is just in the first area; there are probably hundreds of dungeons you can trek through. I'm still a newbie at Elder Scrolls, so little things like the compass markers or leveling up were mysteries, but I've learned the details in the documentation and the message boards. Only one thing has been irritating, and that's the lock picking mini-game. You'll come across locked rooms or chests that will be important to open. The lock pick screen shows up, and you must lock each tumbler in place by flipping it up and pressing the A button before it can flop down. I broke many picks and resorted to reloading the saved game until I could get it right.
At my slow pace, I could probably play Oblivion until the end of year and not be finished. There's so much to learn and many places to visit-hopefully it won't interfere with my work too much. If I had one game to take with me on a deserted island, this would be it! Nuff said.
Posted by Adam Warlock at 12:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)March 27, 2006
One Year Later: Vandal Savage!
The best DC story last week was JSA Classified #10, by Stuart Moore. It charts the return of Vandal Savage to Earth. In the last issue of the Flash, Savage got a comet ride out of the solar system. Now he returns to Earth OYL. Apparently it wasn't much of a vacation, as he visited the Thanagarians, the Dominators, and maybe even the Khunds. As Savage tries to get his life back together, we see flashbacks of his past throughout different eras in history. This is really cool. Vandal Savage has been one of DC's longest running villains as he's been around since the Golden Age of comics. He's been underused over the past decade or so and this story is a way to remind us of why Savage is a great villain. As he returns to various secret hideouts (which he uses to story organs and body parts from his descendants) Savage discovers that they have been trashed by a mysterious enemy. One sanctuary has working diagnostic equipment, which tells Savage that he only has 11 days to live with various diseases eating away at him. He decides to attempt one last act of revenge against Alan Scott, the Golden Age Green Lantern. It will be worth reading this to see if it plays into Scott's role in Checkmate.
I like Paul Gulacy's artwork on this story. We've rarely seen him do out and out superhero work, except for Batman, and his style is perfect for Vandal Savage's villainy. I think his Alan Scott interpretation will be pretty cool as well. I am pretty shocked that some fanboy reviewers are really anti-Gulacy. I guess they just didn't grow up reading the greatness of Master of Kung Fu.
I think Stuart Moore is a writer to watch. In a year or two, he could be the Next Big Thing. Nuff said.
Posted by Adam Warlock at 1:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)One Year Later: Birds of Prey
Birds of Prey has always been a witty, adventurous book since Gail Simone took over the writing. OYL gives her a chance to do something interesting by swapping Black Canary for Lady Shiva, who now calls herself the Jade Canary. I told you that Shiva wasn't really dead at the end of Batgirl, remember? Shiva's pretty funny in her OYL debut, taking on Killer Croc with one arm, because Croc's got a busted wing. She takes the Ventriloquist's dummy and throws him over the side of a building-something I always thought Batman should do. The Birds are still fighting the Secret Society, so that organization is still around. Meanwhile, Black Canary is in a secret training camp in Asia, presumably to become a supreme martial arts badass like Lady Shiva. She's handcuffed, blindfolded, and gets her ass kicked by a dozen Bruce Lee types. Shades of Kill Bill! Wouldn't it have been better to have all that training during the missing year? I think Simone missed a beat. What if Shiva was the hero in BoP and Canary was the assassin they had to take down?
Then there's the third BOP member, who appears in a ghostly form, and her identity will be revealed next issue-NOT! Fan boarders have already guessed that this character is Gypsy, from the Justice League Detroit days. Never in a million years did I dream that this character would make a cameo on TV (Justice League Unlimited) and later be revived in an ongoing series. That old saying about "there are no bad characters" is probably true. Nuff said.
Posted by Adam Warlock at 1:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)March 26, 2006
One Year Later: Batman, Robin, and Nightwing
DC Comics' One Year Later event still has me seriously under whelmed. I guess the whole point for the big three characters (Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman) is to return to their classic roots. Which is something I've desired, particularly in Bruce Wayne's case, but the hype surrounding OYL promised even bigger changes, leading to my disappointment. I think I may be in the minority, as one review of James Robinson's Batman story in Detective called it "…the best Batman story I've ever read." I take that to mean that the reviewer never read a Batman comic where Bruce Wayne wasn't an asshole. Robinson's written a decent story, but it's just a reset to a kindler, gentler Batman. Batman #651 shows us that he gets along very well with Tim Drake (Robin), who helps take down Poison Ivy. It's a nice step in the right direction, but in my mind, Batman will be fully revived when Bruce Wayne gets a few pages every once in a while to run Wayne Enterprises, talk with Alfred, and bang some supermodels.
Nightwing 118 seems to have taken the biggest hit in quality OYL. The stories that Devin Grayson had been writing previously had a pretty decent plot and interesting characters. Bruce Jones' first issue lets us know that someone has been pretending to be Nightwing during Dick Grayson's absence. We all know this is Jason (although as Ain't It Cool noted, Jones never once declares him the impostor but the next issue blurb does) because he's using a knife to carve up child molesters. Dick has decided to take up residence in New York City (goodbye Bludhaven) and is fucking the Scarlet Witch (or the DCU equivalent). I think we should applaud Bruce Jones for not wiping out Nightwing's history and reinventing the character from scratch. I should give it more time, but to go from the Grayson-Hester stories to this is a jarring change. If Jones is gonna play the Nightwing-killed-somebody card here, and there's a comment in Robin that makes me think he might, then you've got two series with heroes falsely accused of murder.
Robin 148 uses the OYL event to spin Tim off in a strong new storyline written by newcomer Adam Beechen. In the opening pages, Tim is beaten by a foe who moves so fast that their identity remains hidden. After lashing out with some R-shaped throwing stars, he discovers that his target was Batgirl, and she's dead on the floor. While it is Cassandra Cain's costume, it's not her body-the girl in the suit is Lynx. Naturally the police go after Robin in a big way. This sets up a mystery for Tim to figure out: what happened to Cassandra Cain, and why is someone trying to frame him for murder? As we saw in the last issue of Batgirl, Cassandra appears to have given up her Bat-related identity after snapping her mother's (Lady Shiva) neck. It looks like Cassandra is shadowing Tim in this issue. Is she a villain? If so, Tim's in big trouble, because Batman plainly states that Tim would have no hope against Cassandra in physical combat.
There are some interesting hints to Bruce Wayne's whereabouts during the missing year. Apparently Bruce, Dick, and Tim have been globe-trotting, as he mentions Budapest. There's been some family bonding as the trio has learned to trust each other more completely than in the past, thus leading to the de-asshole-cation of Batman. I can't wait to see what Morrison and Dini are gonna do with the Batman that Robinson is giving them. Nuff said.
Posted by Kid Flash at 7:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)March 21, 2006
Ms. Marvel's Quest for Liberation!
Now it's time for ol' Cousin Dick to do one of them retro-spectives! You know, one of those articles where we talk about why the Silver Age was the best and everything thing modern just seems like a two-headed calf. I just read those new Ms. Marvel funny books and I'm wonderin' why there isn't any sex. I mean, in the old days, Ms. Marvel really got it on. Take her first appearance as Carol Danvers in Marvel Super-Heroes 13...
This is when she first met Capt. Marvel, who was pretendin' to be a scientist feller named Doctor Lawson. You can tell that Mar-Vell couldn't believe his luck when he met that little blonde minx! But she would find that lovin an alien would be harder than marryin a cowboy from Brokeback Mountain.
Carol was a bit perturbed when she found out that her bed was empty in the morning. Of course, Capt. Marvel's got better things to do than eat pancakes with maple syrup. He's got Skrulls, Kree, and Thanos to fight. That just sends a gal like Carol into a frenzied hormone imbalance!
Praise the Lord for women's liberation! Nothin' says independence like a revealing costume! Calvin Klein invented thong underwear after reading this landmark story. Just one of many Mighty Marvel contributions to our country!
Things don't always work out well for Marvel Super-Heroes. With great sex power comes terrible responsibility. That's something that Brittany Daniel should pay attention to as well!
Back in the 70s, Ms. Marvel 19 caused an uproar! It was actually pulled from stores, banned by the Baptists, and editor-in-chief Jim Shooter was burned in effigy by the Harper Valley PTA! All reprints have been severely altered to make it look like Ronan the Accuser was invading Earth. Kid Flash will be selling my unaltered copy on EBay for $1 million.
You know what made Mighty Marvel the greatest comic book company in the world? Their heroes were deep. They had feelin's. They changed over time! I think Paul Verhoven got the inspiration for Sharon Stone's Basic Instinct interrogation scene in this panel!
Ms. Marvel got this here ass-liftin' costume in issue 20. Didn't help her book much as it was cancelled a few issues later. If only they had Frank Cho around back then, Marvel would have known, the tits AND the ass need to be in proportion.
Oh well. This ain't the end of Ms. Marvel's sexcapades. Let us know if you want to see more. Ten-four rubber-duck and Nuff Said!
Posted by Cousin Dick at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)March 20, 2006
When You Suddenly Get Laid, It's Time to Die!
There's a certain amount of speculation that Conner Kent is going to die during the last two chapters of Infinite Crisis. Judging from Teen Titans 33 and TT Annual 1, all signs do point to Conner's departure. Death Sign #1: 
In the Annual, Conner gets a visit from Big Daddy Luthor while he's in the regeneration tank. Luthor's obviously feeling pretty foolish, having been spanked by Alexander Luthor in front of the freakin world. There's a lengthy explanation of how Luthor had a hand in Conner's design and development. I wouldn't put it past Luthor to use Superboy as a weapon against his doppleganger. Death Sign #2: Also in the Annual, Conner and Cassie (Wonder Chick) have sex back at the Kent's farm in Smallville. DC really makes no bones about it in this sequence where they strip off their clothes. In the morning, Cassie wakes up wearing Conner's shirt. It's about as exciting as cold oatmeal. For some reason I can't think of anything but Dawson's Creek the way it's portrayed. The kids do look happy, but you really can't be happy like that for too long without a dramatic consequence. Death Sign #3: In TT #33, Conner teams up with Dick Grayson and travels to the North Pole in order to assault Alexander Luthor's giant tuning fork. Conner's feeling pretty low since Superboy-Prime almost killed him, and he's certainly feeling inferior next to Dick. My prediction is that Conner will go out like Supergirl in the original Crisis--dying to save the Earth.
There's another reason why I think Conner may get killed: he just isn't a classic character. DC has done a lot of work trying to restore Batman, Superman, Supergirl, etc., to classic form. Conner's one of those 90s inventions--he was conceived when "things went wrong" during the time that Superman died. One DC message board poster thinks that Teen Titans 36 has the clue: Cassie's wearing ripped jeans...his theory is that they are Conner's jeans. Or maybe Cassie just started shopping at Ambercrombie & Fitch! Place your bets now, droogies, just remember, Conner's not in any new DC solicitations that I've seen! Nuff said.
March 19, 2006
Podcasts To Make You 100% Geek
I've put a new entry on the right-hand sidebar for my favorite Podcasts. I listen to these each week when I'm walking, doing chores, or some mindless repetitive task at work. The podcasts are comic-book related (Fanboy radio, Comic Geek Speak, Word Balloon), TV-related (TV Guide Talk, BattleStar Galactica, LOST), Hollywood and movies (The Treatment and The Business), Video Gaming (Gamespot, 1UP, Dreamstation) and Science Fiction stuff at the Dragon Page. The Dragon Page pumps out three shows a week. Cover to Cover has interviews with SF authors, Slice of Sci-Fi has movie-tv coverage with guest interviews, and Wingin It is what happens when sci-fi geeks start drinking. I've learned about a lot of unique beers from this show. Ever heard of Monty Python's Holy Grail Ale? I have no idea where to buy it locally. Check out the podcasts. Nuff said.
Posted by Adam Warlock at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)March 18, 2006
BLACK Kicks Ass, I Just Wish it Were on the 360
I received BLACK from GameFly last Monday and I'm on the last level of the game. It's a very intense FPS, the video clip above illustrates what the game play is like. The environmental effects are outstanding. You can see in the video that when you are shooting, debris flies through the air and you can't really see. The recoil effects on the guns are very realistic. If you are shooting an Uzi, it bobs up and down violently. Reloading the guns has a really cool haze effect on the screen--I suppose because the guns are so hot that steam is coming out when you put in a fresh clip. There are only eight levels in the game, but each of them are huge, and one of the knocks against BLACK is that it takes a while to reach a checkpoint--you can't just save anywhere like you can in DOOM 3. There's no multiplayer or co-op modes at all, which is why BLACK has a metacritic score that translates to a three-star game. Despite that, I think BLACK is fantastic. The graphics are near next-gen quality and the soundtrack is by Michael Giacchino from the TV show ALIAS--you will feel like a spy on the run in some scenes! I can't purchase it at $30-40 because I'm so into the 360 titles. If I could knock down 360 achievements with BLACK, I would be tempted. It's a damn great rental. Nuff said.
