Nerdy News for May 19, 2005

Hey baby! It's time for Marvel Comics August 2005 solicitations and I can't find a damn thing from Marvel that really makes me excited other than this cover of Ultimate FF Annual #1. I will never think that the Ultimate FF can ever hold a candle to the Marvel Universe originals, but this rendition of an Ultimate Crystal is just wonderful. Interesting that they have the Ultimate Inhumans and the artist is Jae Lee, from the Paul Jenkins Inhumans 12-issue series a few years ago. Greg Land did the cover and does he ever bring Crystal into the modern era. This is great, just do it in Marvel U. please? The only other tantalizing thingy is about J. Michael Straczynski's first issue of the FF--the solicitation copy says "It's a reunion with destiny as the Fantastic Four once more brave the hazards of outer space for a rendezvous with a fateful cosmic storm - And the secret that lies therein!" Don't freakin' tell me the cosmic storm was sentient or somethin' chose the FF on purpose, dude. You played that card with the sentient spider bitin' Spidey and all that Spider-totem stuff. It's like this motherfucker's favorite comic ever was Swamp Thing #21 (Anatomy Lesson) and so he keeps going back to origins and sayin' guess what--they're bogus and if you've been readin' this title, you don't know shit. WTF is that dude? You're just apeing Alan Moore. Leave that shit alone and come up with some fresh cadavers. Nuff said.